Things from The Heart

So far, 2011 has been (sorry for the foul language) an ass to me. You see, I did not pass the university I really wanted for years. As said in my earlier post, I did not make it in the honors list. I’ve also realized that I do not really have a lot of friends (You know, I’ve always thought that I was this friendly person and all but actually, I’m not really that. You know, like I make acquaintances but not friends.) The main thing is. I’ve learned a lot about myself which are not very pleasing to me. Life has been suckish for me this year. I could leave it that way; but I WON’T.

I won’t let it be that I won’t change. There must be something wrong that I (emphasis on the I) have done. I’ve been reading Bo Sanchez lately and I’ve realized that we could not blame others. It is ourselves we should look at. Maybe I didn’t pass the university or get in the honors list because I did not work hard for it. Maybe I just spent too much time on useless things. Maybe I don’t have a lot of friends because they have been respecting the wall the a created (Fill Your Life With Miracles, Bo Sanchez). I should really turn my life around.

I want you guys to do the same. Look at yourself; notice all the mistakes you do. Learn from it. Change your ways. And NEVER GIVE UP! Seriously.

I leave you all with an inspirational story from an inspirational person. She was a struggling author who lived on food stamps everyday. She wrote this story about a young boy who turns out to be a wizard. She gave this to a lot of publishers. I think 13 all-in-all. She never gave up though. She went to all those then finally, she got her book published and now, it’s a world-wide hit. I know you know who it is. Do I have to say the name? :)

Learn from her story because I am learning too. Be inspired. Make that change.

This week, I went on a road trip with a bunch of friends on one of my friends’ place, out of town. (Does my sentence make sense?) Anyway, I did not expect that we would have other people (By people, I mean boys.) coming along. I automatically switched into my embarrassing/quiet/stupid mode since this particular guy came along with us… HAHA! OKAY.

The whole time I was so quiet; not normal since I’m a slightly (Sorry, I’m in-denial. :>) talkative person. I wanted to enjoy and even make new friends but I was too shy. Damn my shyness! I had a hard time since I was very conscious about myself. You see, I’m not the prettiest, smartest, athletic-est, funniest or any of the -est’s you could think of. I am just… average. I think there was a million times I tried to say something and like about three times I really said something; and here’s the thing, all I said were “Uhm, what?”, “K.”, or “I should shut up already?” worthy moments. I really messed up. During the trip back, I was like “AAAAAH. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself (repeat until you reach an hour)”. I really wanted to forget the experience.

But then, I realized that I shouldn’t put the experience aside since I will not learn from it.

I then knew I was so insecure. Because of this, I don’t trust myself to do anything right. I know some of you also feel the same way so here’s what I could say, LOVE YOURSELF. No one’s perfect so it’s really okay to make mistakes or to embarrass yourself. Hey, at least you became an icebreaker for a new topic. Haha! Nah, I want you citizens of the world to think, it is really okay. Stop being self-concious so you could make new friends! There are a lot of experiences to encounter and more, ahem, boys (or girls for the guys) to meet. So I say, take in everything and learn. Maybe your crush would even find you cute for doing those embarrassing/stupid things. SO PLUS POINTS TO YOU MY SILLY FRIEND! :)

In the Philippines, graduations always fall on March. So right now, I could possibly say that I’m a graduate! From high school, at least.

During graduations, this is the time we all get recognition and the like. I’m happy for those who all got awards! Kudos to you for the hard work paying off. :>

Sadly for me though, I went home empty-handed. I am the type of student who doesn’t let her grades slip off or go around making risks of losing my Good Moral certificate. I also join the organizations of the school to also work on my extra co-circular. I did my best, I said. I was half expecting and half not. Then, I did cut through the honors list.

I was sad, of course. But then I did something that did not make me part of the list. I remembered I survived high school by cramming. Luckily, I had above average marks but I guess, it was not enough for me to make it to the list. Also, I try to balance my friends and studies but at times, I couldn’t resist hanging out with them. :))

So now, here is where I explain my title. It may be the end since I can’t do anything about the past anymore but it is a new beginning since I will be starting college. My goal now is to be a cum laude or even better, a summa cum laude. Hey, it’s never wrong to dream.

So I advice you citizens of the world. Don’t give up. Always reach for the stars! If you fall a bit, you could always land on the moon. So to all graduates, congratulations! To those who won awards, congratulations for being the best and working hard! To those who did not receive any, I say, CONGRATULATIONS for now having an inspiration to work even harder to reach your dreams. Good luck, graduates! :)

So, I leave you guys with an awesome photo I found. :)

P.S. NEVER forget your friends though. Even though I did not get any award, I never regretted that I met my super awesome and crazy friends. I love them, and I will surely miss them. :”>